My friends,
This blog of our journey to Indonesia ends here. But the reflections go on. Most of all I am left with the power of women’s coalitions in both Jakarta and Yogyakarta. In each place, the organizations that presented us took on with pride our full identities: Kathryn and I-- a 20 year lesbian couple: myself as a Roman Catholic lesbian priest, professor and theatre writer/director, Kathryn as a professor of Global Studies, and a candidate for ordination in the Presbyterian Church.
The month before we arrived these same coalitions had presented Irshad Manji, a feminist lesbian Canadian Muslim whose heritage is Egyptian and Gujarati Indian. Her discussions about sexuality were held in private with various Muslim communities. With our journey, these same coalitions built on Irshad’s journey by creating public discussions of sexuality. Appearing on panels with women leaders who were Buddhist, Muslim, and Christian, the message was always the same, pluralism/diversity is both a beauty and challenge to any society or faith. As women creating alliances across our differences, we can model the society and the faith we wish to generate.
July 29: Tuesday, Borobadour, Indonesia
Our presentations and dialogs finished, we became tourists, and were taken an hour or so out of Yogya to the single most visited site in Indonesia, Borobudur. This 9th century Buddhist monument, located in Central Java, is a true place of pilgrimage. One begins at the base of the monument and follows a path circumambulating it and ascending through three levels: the world of desire, the world of forms, and the world of formlessness. All along the walls are narrative stone panels telling the story of Buddha’s life and teachings. Perhaps it was not surprising that on the second level, the world of forms, we got a cell phone call saying I had to hurry back to Yogyakarta because my return flight to the USA (taking off that very evening) had been canceled. And so we never reached the top, but perhaps that is for my second trip to this beautiful, inspiring and complex country. May it be so!
July 28: Monday continues
7:00—9:00p
An informal discussion with the LGBT community of Yogyakarta on “ Diversity and Spirituality.” There were approximately 100 LGBT people present! The panel consisted of Kathryn and myself and Aria, the transgender Muslim woman I had been introduced to in the morning. Kathryn and I did not want to say much---we wanted to listen to what others wanted to share. And so we simply introduced ourselves as a twenty year old couple and that I was a Roman Catholic priest and she a candidate for ordination in the Presbyterian Church and that we both considered our spirituality to be crucial to sustaining and enriching our relationship. Aria too spoke very briefly. As a transgendered Muslim woman she made it clear that the Holy Qur’an is totally silent on the idea of transgender/ “third gender.” She said that it is the Hadith, the second set of sacred texts based on the life of the Prophet Muhammad, that speak about “mukhannathun”/third gender. She described composition and collection of these texts of the Hadith as imbedded in cultural contexts, and thus their prejudice toward a third gender.
However, Aria said, while realizing this was important, what was key for her was realizing the importance of her own self acceptance as a woman. When she realized this, she truly began to understand the Prophet’s words: “ Know yourself and you will know your God.”
The rest of the evening was spent hearing many testimonials by lesbian, gay and transgendered people who were gathered. Many stories expressed that most of the community did not feel safe in being out. Others expressed the importance of commitment in their relationships. Several described their relationships across faiths and how this was enriching. Kathryn wondered out loud how accepting the LGT community was of bisexuals. In four different responses, people said they often didn’t trust them and wished they would simply choose one or the other. It was clear that if there were bi-sexuals present they did not feel comfortable in speaking up. Kathryn then spoke of the importance both spiritually and socially of being truly inclusive in our LGBT community. Overall, the evening was an opportunity to gather the LGBT community, to share stories and receive mutual support. The palpable need for such gatherings was clear. And we felt blessed to be a part of their dialogue.
July 28: Monday continues
1:30—3:30p
Lunch with religious leaders of Yogyakarta. I must mention here that an extraordinary young woman who did a major portion of the translation for us was Habibah, a young Muslim woman who wears a jilbab. She was the person that the Women’s Coalition sent out weeks before to invite religious leaders to this luncheon. I wish I could have been an ant on the wall as she walked into the Roman Catholic Vicariate of Yogyakarta to invite them to lunch with a Roman Catholic lesbian priest ! Of the 20 religious leaders present from Islam, Hinduism, Buddhism, Protestant Churches, not one of them was Catholic---which of course I was not surprised at. But perhaps receiving the invitation to the lunch from Habibah made some intriguing impression.
Sitting outside under a thatched roof on a raised platform of bamboo, we all had our lunch. Amidst the lunch we spoke informally, yet a microphone was passed around so that all could hear. A Muslim man said that the verses of the Qur’an say that homosexuality is a disorder. Some feel that only people with low IQ’s are homosexual. He said that for himself it was a process because one of his children was gay and it took time for him to accept that. But now it was no problem, but he wanted to offer these thoughts because it is still hard generally for people to accept. Wilis who had been on the panel with me earlier again repeated what she had said regarding the Buddha and doctrines. A woman from the Dept. of Religious Diversity who was Hindu said that women’s leadership in Hinduism was not a problem, it was the culture around the religion that tried to “keep women in their place.” Another person offered that all texts, in any religion, have two faces: one that is about equality and the other that is prejudiced toward women. Near the end of the lunch a young Christian woman said she hoped that a forum lunch like this would happen again because of the need for dialogue across religious traditions.
July 28: Monday, Yogyakarta
9—10am
A showing of excerpts from Jules Hart film “Women of the Holy Road”—a draft of a film about RCWP. Imagine that morning how it felt walking into a building that was a Muslim meeting hall, seeing it already filled with 150 people, all watching the faces of Patricia Fresen, Jane Via, and others on a large screen in the front of the hall talking about their call to ordination in the Catholic Church! Yes it was in English, so only some of it was understood, but all enjoyed the visual education offered by the images from Jules wonderful film.
It is worthwhile to mention here that while waiting in the back of the meeting hall for the panel to begin, I was introduced to a transgender Muslim woman, Aria, wearing her hijab/jilbab and a full length robe. She was introduced to me as being on the evening panel about diversity and spirituality. Yes, it was clear at every turn in Yogya that the Women’s Coalition meant what they said --- a total commitment to pluralism in Indonesian society.
10:00—1:00p
A Public Discussion on “Women’s Leadership in Religion and Spirituality.” The panel:
Hindun Annisa director of a feminist educational school/seminary for young Muslim women, Wilis Rengganiasih a Buddhist scholar at the Indonesian Consortium for Religious Studies and myself. Once again I was most grateful for superb translators!
Hindun spoke of the importance of education for all young women, and how that education must be feminist. She spoke of the complete alignment between the Prophet’s life and the empowerment of women. Education, she said, was not only important, but the responsibility of young women and their families to seek out in order to become full members of society who know their rights, including religiously.
Wilis addressed this same idea in Buddhism focusing on the 13 women who were ordained as monks by the Buddha. And yet how women are still struggling today in some parts of Theravada Buddhism for recognition (hence the connection to my earlier meeting with Ven. Dhammananda).
Initially I began with the history of women’s ordination in the early church and then the contemporary movement. But following the lead of the other panelists, I went on to state that the problem with the Catholic women’s ordination movement is that we do not speak enough with our Protestant ordained sisters and other women in leadership in other religions. These women understand that getting ordained doesn’t change the hierarchical system or change patriarchal language. Just getting in the door doesn’t mean we get a seat at the table. Catholic women need to be realistic about what ordination means and the systemic nature of power. Therefore, alliances are crucial, so that we can learn from all those who are engaged in similar struggles. From there I went on to address sexuality. Because it’s so hard to get to the table, we who are LGBT are not supposed to talk about our sexuality. We are pressured to prove that we are good girls---mothers, with children and husbands—and so LGBT folks are pressured to stay in the closet. [I’ll address the rest of my lecture in other places, but for now that was the gist of it]
Questions that were asked during the discussion:
What are the challenges you’ve experienced as a woman spiritual leader? How are women spiritual leaders different? than male priests? Can the women’s movement for ordination be successful? Why not choose another church where you would be accepted? Can we be feminist without being lesbian? How do I face being a lesbian priest in my daily life?
I particularly liked this one: There is a paradigm shift going on from single voices of authority to multiple voices of power, a kind of de-sacralization of power and sacred texts---how do all three of you address this? Wilis, the Buddhist scholar answered it in this way: The Buddha taught not to be attached to doctrines, including those given by the Buddha.
It was a lively, thought-filled discussion. We all walked away from it deeper and more connected to each other’s struggles.
July 27: Sunday Continues!
9:30—11:00p Sunday
Then to top off the night, the first Holy Union in Indonesia (so we've been told) and certainly presided at by a RC woman priest (see pics). Ani, the primary organizer of the Women's Coalition of Yogyakarta, and also an actress, helped to arrange it in two days at the Garage Theater - a small innovative group.
For hetersexual couples it is against state law to marry a person of another religion. And of course there is no sanctioned marriage ceremony for LGBT people. And while Yogyakarta intellectuals and activists have developed in 2006 a remarkable document-- the Yogyakarta Principles --which advocate for the sexual rights of all, it is still not socially or religiously accepted to be LGBT.
Given that information, I will use pseudonyms for the two women who so courageously vowed their commitment to one another on that Sunday night in Yogyakarta.
We walk down a small road beside dark rice paddies to the space. Friends began to trickle in - many in hijab. The planning of all this happened in a day, and it really does require some longer description. Ani says - 'just tell us what to do, we've never done anything like this.' The theatre people knew immediately that we needed a set, lights and sound! And so with Kathryn's guiding hand all went to work creating a stage set with chairs, potted plants, table, cloth and candle. "M" (Muslim) in a gorgeous Javanese dress and "C" (Catholic) in a Javanese headband and shirt.
The couple had emailed me in the States asking if I would create a Blessing Ceremony for their relationship. I said I would if we could have a talk the day before (which we did) about what commitment meant to each of them. At that meeting we also decided the elements of the liturgy: Opening Prayer, Readings from sacred texts (Christian Bible & Qur’an), poems that either of them would read, speaking their vows to one another, ring giving, and a final blessing that would be given by all to their commited relationship.
There were lots of tears. And even a surprise cake that was traditionally cut by the couple---but according to tradition the couple’s parents receive the first pieces. "M" and "C" offered us those esteemed pieces of cake. And lots of "paparazzi" --we're all laughing when we watch the video of it the next day --- how many friends were taking pictures!! Damai, who was the original person who had invited us, gave "M" and "C" a beautiful woven wedding blanket that is traditionally put around the shoulders of the newlyweds. And she also gave one to Kathryn and me! Knowing that the next day would also be abundantly busy we excused ourselves from the celebration at 11:00p, leaving the younger women to enjoy the night! But the memory of this extraordinarily intimate and risky liturgy stays deep within me signaling the courage and vision of young lesbian women in Yogyakarta.
Once again, I note the importance of women priests creating inter-faith alliances across sexualities, genders and ethnicities. We do this in different ways, in different places, but do it we must.
July 27: Sunday continues!
6:00—9:00p Sunday
Off to a FANTASTIC rehearsal of Theater Dinasti - a Muslim progressive theater like Philippine PETA. They've traveled the world. The rehearsal was outside, under the stars and we curled up with the women on mats and drank hot sweet tea and some
rice snacks as we watched. The work was so physical and funny with this amazing fushion gamelon orchestra backup. The play was about Iblis (Muslim lucifer) and a commentary on Indonesian societies' responsibility for its own complicity and lack of will to challenge authority. Afterwards, we had a rice-chicken satay meal wrapped in banana leaf and newspaper and sat in a big circle with the actors and orchestra talking about the play.
July 27: Sunday continued
5:00—6:00p Sunday
As previously described, the Mass had morphed to me being a guest homilist at the Protestant service hosted by the Yogyakarta International Church. (see pics) YIC rents a room in the Plaza Hotel for their worship service which normally has 25 people attending. Kathryn led the liturgical singers in a rousing "Magnificat Now!"--a true hymn of liberation that set the tone for the service and certainly for my message. Most moving to me was that a third of the 75 folks present were Muslim women, many of whom we'd met earlier – wonderful to look around the room at the jilbabs/hijabs nodding at my homily message. The beginning of which was “As a Roman Catholic woman priest, I am a risk to invite to the Eucharistic table.” I went on to talk about what I think is so threatening to the Roman Catholic patriarchy about a Mass presided at by a woman priest. Since I always prefer a shared homily, people then shared their thoughts. One man said that in the beginning he was not sure what to think of a woman priest. Afterall, he had been schooled in a seminary and so he had never thought of about it before. But now, he said, having experienced the presence of a woman priest----and here he started to cry----he found how meaningful and right it was.
Another man spoke up, with his mother sitting next to him, that he and his mother had spoken many times about how wonderful it would be to have women priests in the Catholic Church. And now they were experiencing it, and how happy they were to be there. The young man who is the prime organizer for liturgies approached me afterwards and said he had never experienced such beautiful feelings in the congregation before---he said he felt the Spirit of God moving among us. And so I believe that the seeds were sown for a woman priest next year to return to YIC and reap the harvest. Changes come as they come, bit by bit, step by step. And the Spirit moves!
July 27: An Abundantly Busy Day! in Yogya
July 27, Sunday
10:00am—1:00pm
The day began with a three hour theatre workshop that I led using the techniques of Augusto Boal and others that I have learned over the years. The participants in the theater workshop were primarily "youth" [including an older man from Aceh was a filmmaker]. For 3 hours in an open-air traditional Indonesian setting we danced, stretched, played, improvized, got to know one another in new embodied ways, laughed and opened our imaginations! The workshop ended with a series of human sculptures/photographs created by participants to show the past, present and future of two local issues chosen by the group: labor organizing and gay-bashing. (see pic)
2:00—3:30p Sunday
Lunch with a Sacred Heart Sister who was trained in the Philippines and who was very supportive of LGBT issues and of women priests.
July 26 Yogyakarta, Indonesia
Early this Saturday morning we flew to Yogyakarta, an hour’s flight from Jakarta.
We were met at the airport by members of the Yogyakarta Women’s Coalition, twenty four organizations that presented our stay in Yogya. The range of issues that each of these organizations represents should give you some idea of their pluralism: reproductive rights, literacy for Muslim youth, women in kampung areas, industrialized women workers, a theatre group working on trafficking in women issues, Ahmadiyya Muslims [In 2008, many far-right Muslims in Indonesia protested against Ahmadiyya and its followers. With violence and large demonstrations, these religious conservatives worked to pressure the government to pressure, monitor, and harrass the Ahmadiyya community in Indonesia], two LGBT organizations, domestic workers, an inter-faith university graduate program ICRS, women and media, budget advocacy, women’s rights advocacy.
Yes! An amazing group of women and supportive men came together to present us!
After a wonderful traditional Indonesian breakfast, we were taken to what I thought would be a liturgy meeting for the Mass that would take place the next day, Sunday.
There were fifteen people gathered from the Yogyakarta International Church [YIC] which is a home to Protestants and Catholics. It has no ordained clergy but instead creates worship from among its members. It has oversight given to it by a board. As we began the meeting, Martin arrived. He seemed embarrassed as he began to speak. He told all of us that the night before the board had met and had had a difficult discussion concerning the Mass. Unfortunately, he said, I had been dis-invited from presiding at a Roman Catholic Mass the next day by the board. Later I learned that a Catholic board member had been pressured by conservative Catholic “friends” to dis-invite me. Martin wanted to know if we could still use the liturgy I had prepared but just not celebrate the Eucharist part. I immediately said no to that thought since the Mass liturgy is for me one entire fabric, one whole piece that could not be cut up in parts. Well....you might imagine that I was stunned, and so were the organizers who had set up the Mass with the YIC. At first I was confused and angry and tried to clarify what I had heard from Martin. Then I felt Kathryn’s knowing hand on my back. Her hand was saying slow down. Calm down. Breath. What a blessing my partner Kathryn is in my life!
And so, with new breath I responded that this was an important “educational moment” for all concerned, and that we might all take the time to discuss it thoroughly and perhaps then come up with a solution. For the next twenty minutes, there was a lot of discussion in Bahasa Indonesia [the language of the country].....so it is impossible to relate the content here. However, at the end of it, piece by piece people suggested in English what might be created instead. And so what transpired was a group decision on how to save the situation and thus “save face” by essentially inviting me to participate as guest homilist in what would be a Protestant service. Martin was still embarrassed saying this was not how he personally felt. He offered the added thought, this was indeed an educational moment for this church group. And hopefully this was the first step in learning about women priests. And hopefully there would be a second step, a second invitation that would be offered next year to invite me back to preside at a Catholic Mass.
And so it was that I agreed to bless the children, give a shared homily, and give the final benediction [which, the way I lead it, is also a shared benediction done by everyone]. We all left the meeting realizing that a most difficult moment for all had been struggled with by the entire group and a good solution had been arrived at. Perhaps even a solution that was both educational and also seeded a future.
That evening we were invited to a potluck welcome dinner hosted by all of the 24 organizations that were sponsoring our visit. And it was here that I once again was reminded of the power of coalitions, across issues, across sexualities, across genders and ethnicities. It is truly my hope that the movement for Roman Catholic women priests can learn from these Indonesian women and men in the power that is harnessed in building alliances. RCWP needs to form alliances and join networks with other activists who are working on other progressive causes. We need to be at all of those tables, not just the Eucharistic table. We need to do this for the good of our movement and the good of the planet.
July 25, Public Meeting Jakarta
A public meeting had been planned for this date at 2pm in downtown Jakarta entitled:
“Peace and a Multicultural Society." The gathering was sponsored by KUMPUL, a coalition of several organizations whose stated purpose is the unity of a pluralist Indonesian society. Panel members (see pic): Intan Dharmawati, an activist theologian, myself a lesbian priest, and Kathryn Poethig (my partner) professor of Global Studies. We arrived at 1:00p and had time to clarify with Intan and ourselves what each of us would offer. When Intan discovered that I also created theatre, she suggested that I start my 10 minutes with a theatre exercise! Fine, I said, just don’t take it away from my 10 minutes!
As the audience arrived it was made up of many young people, including the young lesbians who had greeted me the night of my arrival in Jakarta. There were many women and men who are activists in the Jakarta community and representing their organizations. There were also a number of transgender people present. And a good third of the audience (150 people) were women in jilbabs (the Indonesian hijab worn by Muslim women).
The meeting began with music, a beautiful poem addressed to “mother” – the sense of which was: forgive me for all the times I didn’t show the kind of love you did to others.
Since my own mother had died just weeks before, I was choking back tears during this.
The program then moved to a very different format. The taped music began and a young transgender woman then took the stage and lip sang to a popular Indonesian song. She was dressed in a long black gown and sparkling high heels. Certainly a rousing prologue to our panel!
Then it was time for the panel to begin:
Intan asked us to think about: which part of your body are you most proud of? which part the most uncomfortable with? She pointed out that our identities are multi-faceted, as are notions of our bodies. To our identities and perceptions of our bodies, we must bring a “hermeneutic of suspicion,” realizing that our identities, including our sexualities, are both socially constructed and biological. In most patriarchal theologies women’s bodies have been derided and considered lower than the soul (represented by the male). But a wholistic approach to sexuality is needed. One that understands the goodness of all sexualities and how they can be the expression of God. [the reader here must understand that the audience was at least 1/3 Muslim women in jilbabs, many of whom were nodding yes to Intan’s ideas].
I began with asking for volunteers to create a three-dimensional sculpture on the theme of gender. There were so many willing participants, and participants from all sexualities and much enjoyment. In fact it was really a sculpture that offered a window into the construction of gender and the fluidity of sexualities. Moving to the spoken word from the enacted word, I then offered thoughts about the construction of my own multiple identities: U.S. citizen (where in 2050 there will be no hegemonic ethnicity), California resident (where there is no one hegemonic ethnicity today), white woman professor who teaches a course entitled “Women of Color in the USA” where we make alliances across ethnicities, lesbian Roman Catholic priest (enough said) and theatre writer/director.
After giving the history of women deacons, priests and bishops in the RCC, including our contemporary movement [www.romancatholicwomenpriests.org], I spoke to the related issues of misogyny and homophobia in the RCC and how this is built on the dualism of body and soul. I offered the contrast of how sexualities can be an expression of God’s love. Right relationship and mutuality in lovemaking is “Godding.” And certainly, when the global RCC feels the winds of the Spirit and changes its positions on women and LGBT people, as it certainly will in time, then the social and cultural influence this will have globally will be immense.
Kathryn offered the connection between empire (U.S.) and the construction of sexuality and violence. She began with the recent court decision in California allowing marriage for LGBT folks and announced that we would be getting married upon our return. [rousing applause!] She then went on to say that “ as progressive folks working against empire, we are asked to be non-sexual as gay people. How long do we have to subjugate our sexuality to progressive inter-faith interests. Especially when we are talking about empire and it seems that the hard economic analysis is the only acceptable critique---neo-liberalism, marxist analysis. But we must also have a sexual analysis of the sexual perversions of empire. This is because militarized cultures require the nation to have a virile masculinity and are homophobic. We see this in Abu Ghraib, where the “enemy” was portrayed as savage, sexual and effeminate. And thus the U.S., portraying itself as a muscular/masculine nation represents a kind of hypersexuality focused on a normative masculinity. And sexual minorities become the canaries of the nation---meaning, you see how sexual minorities are purged in the hetero-normative state.”
There were many questions afterward and the discussion was lively!!
July 24 continued: Kampung Jati
After lunch, Rini took me to one of the poorest neighborhoods/kampung in Jakarta. It is called Kampung Jati, a maze of narrow walkways with families living a few feet from one another. All of the walls and ceilings are made of found materials, Whole families (5-7 people) live in cramped 10x 10 spaces. One of these spaces, painted all white with no furniture in it but floor mats is where KAPAL has been training women leaders for four years. Most of the families in this area are Muslim. When KAPAL began trainings one of the things they introduced were several sessions on world religions so that women could be introduced to the basic ideas of other religions in addition to their own. About 30 of us met in this space. (see pic ) Each woman introduced herself to me through an interpreter. As I did when it was my turn.
Quite in the moment I asked them what struggles involved them in their neighborhood.
The women immediately said water (members of KAPAL had just passed out cups of purified water to each woman). Rini had said they used theatre in their community and so we began to “stage” the problem: each month the women must go to the post office to pay their water bill. But the water is dirty, or at other times, the water does not come out of the faucets. What possible solutions are there to this problem, I asked through the translator. One woman said, none—we must pay or they turn the water off. Another said, we could complain, but the person at the post office is the wrong person, he has no power. We played out both of these ideas. What other solutions might there be? A woman said, we could go to downtown Jakarta and talk to the head office for water. We played it out. Another said--our words are not taken seriously here either; we need to stage a protest. Another woman said—yes and we must invite the media! And so we played this scene out too. Through it all, we laughed. Some women were very engaged in the process, others just wanted to watch. Fine. But strategizing together was the key idea. When Rini laughed and said-- oh I had no idea of the time, we must be going-- it was a surprise to us all that two hours had passed so quickly and all focused on water!
As we walked down the narrow walkway the many women leaders of the Kampung Jati came with us---and their children! (see pic) Rini stopped to point to a bucket of yellow water --- that’s the water they were talking about, she said. Later, in the taxi, she told me that KAPAL had taught them these same theatre methods (techniques of Augusto Boal) using another problem of the neighborhood. Rini, why didn’t you tell me, I would have done something else! Oh no, she said, it’s important that they learn them again, especially from a foreigner! I was humbled that these very welcoming women had so generously offered their time and energy to experience Boal’s techniques—again!
Kathryn arrived in the evening from Cambodia to join the rest of the Indonesian journey.
July 24: Jakarta and KAPAL
An eye opener of a day. Rini, the main organizer of my trip to Jakarta, came to get me in the morning and took me to her office at KAPAL Perempuan---a non-governmental organization (ngo) that engages in alternative education in urban poor neighborhoods especially doing trainings on the subjects of : gender and environment training, gender and community organizing, training on gender and religion, education for gender justice for marginal women. (see pic) We all had a wonderful lunch around their conference table. Most of the women who make up KAPAL are quite young (or am I quite old!). Their director, Yanti Muchtar, started the organization 13 years ago with little or no funding. They are now funded by the Ford Foundation, amongst others. I had such an appreciation for their work, especially bridging gender and religion, and how unique it was for an ngo.
July 23: Arrival in Jakarta, Indonesia
Landed in Jakarta in the evening and was picked up by Joe, a Christian lesbian who has finished her B.A. and wants to study theology, but has been turned down by Christian denominations she has approached because she is a lesbian. This was an eye opener on my first night there. From this I immediately understood that my presence there as an out lesbian Roman Catholic priest had special interest and significance.
I was hungry and so Joe took me to a 24 hour place, alive with young people. We were soon joined by nearly 20 young lesbians of a Jakarta organization called IPP. (see pic) Joe’s story was paralleled by others who said it was very difficult to be “out” and thus most weren’t.
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